Go!
...go on...
Seriously, what are you doing?
ACTION! Action as in a verb. As in doing something. Like a physical something.
Just... please? Please start?
Ugh.
Never mind.
______________________________________________________________
This has been my internal dialogue with myself for the last month or so.
I know what I need to do. I even make lists about what I should be doing. That seems like it should help, right? Alas, I still find myself just not able to get started (already, I mean for crying out loud!).
Chalking it up to stress seems like the easy way out, but I have been extremely stressed, and now that my latest move is over with and my parents' visit has come and gone, perhaps I will be able to calm my head enough to start doing. Anything. Just start something and, who knows, maybe finish it too. Crazy thought, huh?
Let me clear one thing up: by not getting started, by not doing anything, I mean the things that I really long to do. Things I dream about all of the time. Things that in my very soul I feel I need to be doing. I'm not so stressed and depressed that I just lay around eating take out, watching movies and never going anywhere. I get up early and get to work early, cook for myself, play with the kitty, clean up, do laundry, go to the store, blah, blah, blah.
What my problem has been lately is that I simply seem to not be able to get myself to do anything I WANT to do. I can do all of the necessities with little to no problem. It's the exercising, the writing (which I'm doing right now so Huzzah!), the organizing, the prayer/meditation, even the reading. Yep, reading! I can't even start myself on that right now. I read articles online at work about business and sales and marketing (oh my!), but for whatever reason I can't crack open a book.
Ack! I feel like I'm drifting away. Losing myself once again after working so hard to get me back.
Not cool.
So what do I do?
You know, it's funny. I find I can listen and give advice to my friends who seek it, but my words to myself are lost on me.
In one ear, out the other?
Zooooooooooom! See ya.
Nah. Actually, I think it has less to do with listening to myself—I obviously know what I want to do, and even how to get started on them—and more about drive. Where in the heck is my drive? What I need is a swift kick in the booty. A forceful hand. A metaphorical slap in the face. I just need to grab myself by the shoulders and shout, "Oi! Snap out of it!" whilst shaking until my head lolls around and I do, indeed, snap out of it.
I can also look at this scientifically. Newton's First Law of Motion states that "every object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it."
This is good news.
Why? Because then it reasons that if I just force myself into motion I'll remain in motion. And, yeah, let's not mention that external force right now, okay?
That's that then. Next time I find myself plopped down in front of the computer, instead of checking Facebook/Pinterest/Email a thousand times (because I might miss something) I am going to open up my Google Drive and start working on those works in progress or write up a blog post. Next time I'm wandering around aimlessly I will stop myself and find something that needs to be cleaned or organized (plenty of that after moving!). Next time I am feeling restless I will get it out of my system by getting in some kind of workout. Next time I am feeling stressed and/or extra introverted I'll open up to a fresh journal page and jot down my deepest thoughts, or quiet my soul in prayer/meditation.
And so on.
You see where I'm going with this. Enough of the lollygagging and enough of the indecision.
I can do this. This ennui is just temporary.
It's time to get started.
Time for...ACTION!
— E
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